The conflict of love and honor, by J. M. Ferrante

“The legend of Tristan and Isolde, posing the basic human conflict between an overpowering passion and the demands of morality and honor, offered a rich fund of material for medieval writers. They told the story in various forms for various reasons. Some condemned the love, others exalted it. For one, Tristan is a great hero, destroyed by a passion he cannot control; for another he is an artist inspired by a love that is mostly pain; for another, a knight caught between his love and loyalty to an unworthy king…

The conflict arises because Tristan’s love for Isolt is not just an ennobling inspiration, it is also a physical passion that demands fulfilment and destroys prudence. Love, which should guide the knight in the right direction, instead gets in his way. This presents a crucial paradox: without honor in the world a man cannot be a perfect lover, but without love a man is not a complete knight.

Why does this paradox exist? Because love between man and woman cannot be a purely spiritual phenomenon; there is always the danger of the physical impulse asserting itself and taking control. Then love, for all its ennobling powers, becomes an anti-social force. The only way out of the dilemma is death, so instead of a moral comedy, we have a romantic tragedy.”

Honor versus love

Below are a series of excerpts showing that the tradition of courtly & romantic love requires a man to sacrifice his values and honor in order to prove his love for a woman. This factor has been central to the history of romantic love, and remains so today. As stated by Joseph Campbell, the tragic tension between love and honor has remained unresolved in the West to the present.

Joseph Campbell Quotes:

“When the heart is completely taken by this image of love, nothing else counts; and in the courtly tradition, nothing else counted. Amour. And what is the principal threat? Honor. So you find in these traditions of the Middle Ages this conflict between honor and love. The ultimate sacrifice for a noble heart is the sacrifice of honor for love. So that’s the theme that we’re up against here.” [Transformations of Myth Through Time – 1988]

“This we now must recognize as posing a profound problem—the problem, I should say; that from the period of the early Tristan poets, when it first seriously emerged in our literature in terms of the tragic tension between minne and ere, love and honor, that has remained unresolved in the West to the present.”  [Creative Mythology – 1968]

“For it was in the legend of the Holy Grail that the healing work was symbolized through which the world torn between honor and love, as represented in the Tristan legend, was to be cured of its irresolution.   [Myths To Live By – 1972]

“In the Tristan romance King Mark is of course in the role of the jealous spouse; and his royal estate, with its elegant princely court, stands for the values of the day:  world-history, society, knightly honor, deeds, career and fame, chivalry and friendship—in absolute opposition to the grotto of the timeless goddess Minne (romantic love).” [Creative Mythology – 1968]

“In Gottfried’s poem, tragedy follows the inability of the characters to reconcile love (minne), on one hand, and honor (ere), on the other. Gottfried himself and his century were torn between the two.  The Love Grotto in the dangerous forest represents the dimension of the depth experience and King Mark’s court, the world in which that experience has to be borne.” [Flight Of the Wild Gander – 1969]

“The second work by Chrétien—you can see he was writing for Marie—was Erec. It’s a wonderful story of a young knight who has had great fame and then falls in love. Now this is a modern as well as an ancient theme. His career is wrecked by his devotion to his love. This is the theme, honor or love. His honor is wrecked. He is no longer winning the battles, and when he realizes this, he becomes rejective of her. This is the normal thing for today, you know: you marry at twenty-two and divorce at twenty eight to recover. So he pushes her aside and then goes forth to win back his fame. She trots along behind him—she’s right there all the time—and then finally her loyalty to him, in her rejection, solves the whole problem.” [Transformations of Myth Through Time – 1988]

 

Books and Studies:

“The legend of Tristan and Isolde, posing the basic human conflict between an overpowering passion and the demands of morality and honor, offered a rich fund of material for medieval writers. They told the story in various forms for various reasons. Some condemned the love, others exalted it. For one, Tristan is a great hero, destroyed by a passion he cannot control; for another he is an artist inspired by a love that is mostly pain; for another, a knight caught between his love and loyalty to an unworthy king…

The conflict arises because Tristan’s love for Isolt is not just an ennobling inspiration, it is also a physical passion that demands fulfilment and destroys prudence. Love, which should guide the knight in the right direction, instead gets in his way. This presents a crucial paradox: without honor in the world a man cannot be a perfect lover, but without love a man is not a complete knight.

Why does this paradox exist? Because love between man and woman cannot be a purely spiritual phenomenon; there is always the danger of the physical impulse asserting itself and taking control. Then love, for all its ennobling powers, becomes an anti-social force. The only way out of the dilemma is death, so instead of a moral comedy, we have a romantic tragedy.”

 

For her sake he prefers dishonor rather than honor;  “I prefer thirty dishonors to an honor if it takes her from me: for I am a man of such nature that I wish no honor but her benefit.” ~  Provençal troubadour Peire Vidal

Launcelot’s submission does not cease when he is accepted by Guinevere. He continues to obey every whim of his mistress, no matter what it may cost him. Most precious to a knight was his honor. We have seen how Launcelot sacrificed this to obtain the Queen’s good graces. He continues to love dishonor rather than honor, when she wills it.

Perceived Oppression Through Gynocentric Privilege Loss Theory

By Alex Sharpe

When a group is culturally centered and treated as morally primary, that position becomes invisible and is experienced as normal rather than privileged. Over time, this creates entitlement without conscious intent. When equality or accountability is introduced, it is perceived not as balance but as loss. Because loss is processed emotionally before it is processed rationally, the response is framed as harm. This harm is then moralized and expressed as oppression. In cultures where gynocentrism is the moral baseline, feminism functions not as a corrective to oppression, but as a narcissistic defense system that protects perceived entitlement by converting loss of special status into victimhood.

Gynocentrism, Narcissistic Injury, and the Illusion of Oppression

One of the most persistent claims in modern discourse is that women are systemically oppressed by men. This claim is treated as self-evident, morally unquestionable, and foundational to feminism. Yet when examined empirically, the claim repeatedly fails to hold up. Legal systems, social norms, education, healthcare, and public sympathy overwhelmingly favor women in most modern Western societies. This raises an obvious question. If men are not empirically oppressing women, why does feminism experience equality and accountability as oppression?

The answer does not lie in policy or statistics. It lies in psychology.

Gynocentrism is not an ideology in the way feminism is an ideology. It is a cultural orientation. It places women at the moral center of society, treats their needs as inherently more urgent, and frames their suffering as uniquely meaningful. Because this orientation is ambient and inherited, it is not experienced as privilege. It is experienced as reality itself. What is centered feels neutral. What is favored feels deserved.

When a group grows accustomed to being morally prioritized, that prioritization becomes part of identity. Expectations form around it. Deference is assumed. Protection is automatic. Accountability is softened or externalized. This is not because individuals are malicious, but because systems train perception long before conscious thought occurs.

When equality is introduced into such a system, it does not feel like fairness. It feels like loss. Psychological research consistently shows that human beings experience loss more intensely than gain. Loss triggers threat responses. Threat responses seek moral justification. The mind then reframes loss as harm, and harm as injustice.

This is where narcissistic pathology enters the picture.

Narcissism, at its core, is not vanity. It is entitlement fused with fragility. It is the inability to tolerate loss of special status without reframing oneself as a victim. When boundaries are enforced, they are perceived as abuse. When standards are applied evenly, they are perceived as punishment. When attention is shared, it is perceived as erasure.

Cultural gynocentrism creates the perfect conditions for this pathology to operate at scale. Because women are culturally framed as victims by default, any reduction in privilege can be interpreted as renewed oppression. Because men are framed as moral agents rather than moral patients, male suffering is minimized or ignored. Because the system already presumes male guilt and female innocence, evidence becomes secondary to narrative.

Feminism, in this context, functions less as a liberation movement and more as a psychological defense structure. It protects entitlement by moralizing discomfort. It converts equality into aggression. It reframes accountability as misogyny. It does not need to prove oppression empirically, because oppression is felt emotionally, and feeling is treated as proof.

This explains several otherwise puzzling features of feminist discourse. It explains why contradictory claims coexist without friction. It explains why data is dismissed as irrelevant or hostile. It explains why male suffering is either denied or reframed as deserved. Most importantly, it explains why any challenge to feminist narratives is met not with debate, but with moral outrage.

The outrage is not strategic. It is defensive.

When a system is built around moral asymmetry, symmetry feels violent. When one group has been protected from responsibility, responsibility feels cruel. When privilege has been mistaken for a right, losing it feels like theft.

This is why feminism often reacts to egalitarian arguments as though they are attacks. It is not responding to the content of the argument. It is responding to a perceived existential threat to status and identity. In that sense, feminism mirrors the very structures it claims to oppose. It maintains power not through force, but through moral framing. It preserves dominance not by argument, but by redefining resistance as harm.

Understanding this does not require hostility or moral condemnation. It requires clarity.

If gynocentrism is the cultural baseline, then feminism is not correcting oppression. It is protecting a centered position from being equalized. The resulting narrative of victimhood is not evidence of injustice. It is evidence of narcissistic injury triggered by the loss of unearned moral priority.

Once this mechanism is seen clearly, much of the modern gender debate stops being confusing. The contradictions resolve. The emotional intensity makes sense. The refusal to engage evidence becomes predictable.

What remains is not a mystery of power, but a problem of perception.

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**This guest post submitted by Alex Sharpe, who goes by the moniker shadowclaw87 on X.com

 

Comparison of evolutionary psychology with other, biology-based disciples

Tables below show inverse relationship between empirical fact and speculation: The fields studying basic mechanisms accumulate far greater number of confirmed facts with few hypotheses, while higher-level behavioral fields like evolutionary psychology rely on numerous speculative explanations for relatively fewer established facts.

Big Picture Comparison

Approximate Number of Confirmed Facts

Field Approx. Confirmed Facts
Evolutionary Psychology ~50–200 (hundred)
Evolutionary Biology ~5–20 thousand
Genetics ~50–500 thousand
Molecular Biology ~500 thousand–2 million
Cell Biology ~1–5 million

Approximate Number of Major Speculative Hypotheses

Discipline Approx. Speculative Hypotheses
Evolutionary Psychology 200–500+
Evolutionary Biology ~10–20
Genetics ~10–15
Molecular Biology ~5–10
Cell Biology ~3–5

*Approximate numbers confirmed by Chat GPT, Grok, and Claude.