Red Pill Grandparenting

Casualties of the family court, AKA fathers and children, are so great in number I wouldn’t be surprised if they outnumbered the collective casualties of all wars over the last century. Each of them were made casualties by a family court culture that sides with mothers bent on establishing ownership of children, a goal achieved via character assassination of fathers, and a performance of damseling.

If women are reduced to proverbial chattel within the English law system, which of course they never were, we can only conclude that children have always been the chattel of the chattel. Ernest B. Bax elaborates this point in the following comment penned in the year 1896:


It has always in England been laid down as a fundamental law based on public policy, that the custody of children and their education is a duty incumbent on the father. It is said to be so fundamental that he is not permitted to waive his exercise of the right by pre-nuptial contract. (See the Agar v. Ellis Case.)

This rule of the Common Law of England is of course in harmony with the policy of all Europe and Christendom, as well as with the historic conditions of the European social organisation, if not with the primal instincts of the race.

Nevertheless, fundamental and necessary as the rule may be, the pro-feminist magistrates and judges of England are bent apparently on ignoring it with a light heart. They have not merely retained the old rule that the custody of infants of tender years remains with the mother until the child attains the age of seven. But they go much further than that. As a matter of course, and without considering in the least the interests of the child, or of society at large, they hand over the custody and education of all the children to the litigant wife, whenever she establishes –an easy thing to do– a flimsy and often farcical case of technical “cruelty.”

The victim husband has the privilege of maintaining the children as well as herself out of his property or earnings, and has the added consolation of knowing that they will brought up to detest him.

Even in the extreme case where a deserting wife takes with her the children of the marriage, there is practically no redress for the husband if in narrow circumstances. The police courts will not interfere. The divorce court, as already stated, is expensive to the point of prohibition. In any case the husband has to face a tribunal already prejudiced in favour of the female, and the attendant scandal of a process will probably have no other result than to injure his children and their future prospects in life.

– Ernest B. Bax, The Legal Subjection of Men (1896 p.16)

Most people reading this will know the story described by Bax all too well. The situation remains unchanged to this very day. What is slightly less well known is the impact on grandparents, especially paternal grandparents who tend to become collateral damage along with the alienated father. Mothers instinctively know that grandparents will side with their son in the face of such brutality, so they make the callous and cynical decision to alienate the paternal grandparents and thereby obliterate all potential for opposition.

Callous is hardly a strong enough word for it, but whatever the appropriate adjectives, here we remain thanks to a gynocentric feminism that has eaten away at family cohesion over the last two centuries.

The chances of this happening to grandparents are extremely high, except on the basis that they demonstrate a sycophantic compliance with, and longsuffering utilitarianism towards the mother and her inflated wants – babysitting on demand, transport to and from school, regularly complimenting the mother on her great single parent skills, and the often clear expectation to ‘pay up’ financially by buying items for the grandchildren or offering large money gifts for Christmas & birthdays – which of course the mother will decide the best use of.

This is the level of extortion that so many alienating mothers resort to – a kind of pay-to-play that grandparents are subjected to. For any self-respecting grandparent the juice may not be worth the squeeze, especially if faced with continued disapproval and grifting.

When it comes to mothers displaying pronounced control issues within the intact young family, it raises the serious question of whether grandparents should form a relationship with grandchildren at the outset, and if so, how deep (or superficial) and how frequent. Such control issues are usually bankable indications that everything will eventually turn to shit, and grand parents need to wise up and decide how best they will deal with the broken relationships issue in advance.

Like the MGTOW response toward an excess in women’s relational and legal power, I wouldn’t be surprised to see an equivalent boycott trend among grandparents emerge – in this case jettisoning a portion of the increasingly vulnerable grandparent role. Grandparents Going Their Own Way (GGTOW). That is not to say that such grandparents would be disowning their son or his progeny – on the contrary – the aim would be to protect both he and his children from a greater heartache in the case of deeply attached bonds being destroyed by the mother.

The cultivation of some distance serves the goal of mitigating the likely heartache were it to happen. The less abiding and less intense the grandparent-grandchild relationship, the less drama there will be with the inevitable fallout. There would be some clear heads prevailing among the casualties, which may be all the better to help pick up the pieces for the ones you love.

Keeping a greater distance, but continuing to demonstrate a believable measure of love and support may be the most practical way for grandparents to maintain stability in the extended family, especially in the event of its collapse.

Politics of Transgender Identity

The Many Boons of Transmaxxing

Transmaxxing is a relatively new term referring to men who transition gender (MtF) in order to obtain personal, social and legal benefits associated with being female. Said differently, the transmaxxer transitions to female status, and not to recognizing a sense of female selfhood as is the case with transwomen.

The phenomenon appeared many years before the term was coined, and while it has recently gained some interest in the incel community, its application is far broader than that. It involves a decision to identify as a female regardless of this being contrary to one’s usual sense-of-self.

The Urban Dictionary defines transmaxxing simply as, “Transitioning from male to female for personal gain.”


Based on this broad Urban Dictionary definition we will conclude the following: 1. that transmaxxing cannot be reduced to an incel activity, nor to a proclivity of gay men as some have proposed, nor to any other single demographic. 2. It never or rarely applies to cases of female-to-male transition which are considered to involve minimal gain. 3. Transmaxxing isn’t based on the clichéd explanation that the individual is “a female trapped inside a man’s body,” nor that he “has always felt like a woman.” 4. The only premise of transmaxxing is the undergoing of a MtF transition for the sake of securing a range of benefits associated with female identification.

So lets look at some of those benefits.

Some recent online discussions have cited the following benefits belonging exclusively to the female sex, and also by legal extension to transmaxxers:




René Salinas Ramos is an Equadorian “transmaxxer-woman.” Ramos, who works as a journalist, was born male. Ramos experienced discrimination against men in the Ecuadorian family court system and legally changed her gender to female in late 2022. Ramos hopes now that the courts will treat her more fairly and that she can gain custody of her children.[1]


In Switzerland a man has exploited an administrative loophole and formally transmaxxed his gender to female in order to retire a year earlier. Swiss rules enable any Swiss resident with the “intimate conviction” that they do not belong to the sex they are registered as in the civil status register can apply to change their gender, in addition to their first name, for just 75 Swiss francs (€72). The unnamed man from Lucerne successfully applied to transmax his gender so that he could receive his state pension at the Swiss retirement age for women of 64, a year earlier than men.[2][3]


In Germany a self-identified transmaxxer named Tina has undergone medical transition to reap various sexual and social advantages over her former existence as an ‘incel,’ and claims to be treated better as a female under the social systems in which she lives. Such advantages included being successfully admitted to attend a female-only university class, with Tina adding that “there’s a government quota that needs to be met in Germany regarding women’s employment, and obviously I count as a woman legally, so I will have a easier time finding a job.”[4]

Tina was interviewed by Robert Brockway and Vernon Meigs on the The Goal Post.


In Norway, 2023, a male student changed gender to gain admission to the esteemed NTNU program which prioritized female applicants. The student took advantage of the nation’s lenient gender self-identification laws to gain admission to the Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU), and said that changing his gender for the purposes of gaining extra admission points was “about as easy as switching mobile plans.” According to Finansavisen,[5] the unnamed male student took advantage of the policy after failing to meet merit-based standards. Seeking to gain extra admission points, the student changed his gender marker, allowing him to collect just enough points to be admitted into the Industrial Economics and Technology Management (Indøk) program. The program had a bonus two “gender points” for “female” applicants.[6][7][8]


Transmaxxers don’t need to use hormone replacement therapy, wear lipstick, put on a dress or engage in other performative gestures we might typically associate with transwomen (although some may choose to take these extra steps). Further, transmaxxer identification doesnt even require a renunciation of traits referred to as masculine. At minimum, all it requires is a technical change of gender either on a legal paper, or in some countries by verbal statement, and numerous aspects of female privilege become available for the transmaxxer’s enjoyment.

While the change of gender may appear cynical or inauthentic, we can say that transmaxxers may genuinely identify with an internal sense of privilege, esteem, status, deservingness, dignity, worth, purity, beauty and social value that we euphemistically call “feminine.” The degree to which a transmaxxer genuinely identifies with these “feminine” things, such femininity is integral to his sense of self.


Addendum:  The primary difference between a transwoman and transmaxxer needs to be differentiated, as there seems to be some confusion on this point. Transwomen organically feel & desire female identification, with negligeable desire to identify as male. Whereas MtF transmaxxers tend to identify as male or gender dysphoric, without an organic desire to identify as a woman. This can be summarized as follows:

  • Transwoman is an autonomous desire and identification of the self as female
  • Transmaxxing is a decision, rather than an autonomous desire, to identify as female gender contrary to one’s usual sense-of-self. The transmaxxer can be said to legitimately “transition” to female status, rather than female selfhood.


  1.  Father legally changes gender to female in attempt to gain custody of his kids: ‘I’m also a mom’
  2. A man changes his gender to retire earlier – The European Times
  3. Swiss man changes gender to retire and receive his pension a year earlier
  4. Tina’s Guide To Transmaxxing quote from video ‘A bunch of Incels debating a transmaxxer’
  5. Changing Gender To Get A Place On A Prestigious Course
  6. NORWAY: Male Student Changes “Gender”To Gain Admission To Esteemed NTNU Program Which Prioritized Female Applicants, Feminist News And Opinion
  7. Student gender change sparks debate on admission policies
  8. Changing Gender To Get A Place On A Prestigious Course

Misogamy and marriage avoidance


While it may seem like a modern topic, the burning question of whether men should marry or more to the point not marry, is centuries old. That men are rejecting marriage in increasing numbers is well documented, however cynicism about the virtues of marriage is nothing new.

Numerous scholarly books such as Howard Chudacoff’s Age Of The Bachelor, or J. McCurdy’s Citizen Bachelors have traced the historical rise of bachelor movements, which tend to occur when a given society sufficiently devalues men while saddling them with unreasonable demands of service to wives and the State. When societies treat males more favourably, then bachelor movements organically decline.

I recently chanced upon another book outlining the deeper history of ‘marriage avoidance’ under the heading the querelle du mariage (quarrel about marriage). The following excerpt provides some interesting detail:

The early manifestations of the quarrel often focus on marriage, one of the pressing problems of the late Middle Ages and the early modern period: An uxor sit ducenda (Should One Take a Wife) was a question much discussed by Italian men, and in Germany it could appear as Ob einem manne sey zu nemen ein eelichs weyb oder nit (Should a Man Take a Wife or Not? – Albrecht von Eyb, 1472). In answer to this question, male misogamy (hatred of marriage) is expressed as misogyny (hatred of women) and philogyny (love of women) is expressed as philogamy (love of marriage).
Christine de Pizan’s praise of women was directed against the misogamists and misogynists of her time, the anonymous text Les quinze joies de mariage (The Fifteen Joys of Marriage) deplored the loss of male liberty in marriage, and a century later Erasmus of Rotterdam presented the misogamist virgin in his Virgo misogamos (The Misogamist Virgin – 1523), who desperately wants to enter a convent but inspired by love she thinks better of it at the last moment. Philogynous texts questioned why women were punished more strictly for adultery than men or why a husband had to be brought (by a dowry); misogamists and misogynists, eg. In England, answered the question by stating that women tend to squeeze money out of their husbands.
In Germany this aspect of the querelle has been largely ignored (interest has focused on voices which argued in favor of women’s intelligence and reason), although the querelle du mariage played an important role here: the wide-ranging marriage debate during the Reformation, in particular in its sensational and scandalous early phases – public betrothals of monks and nuns, closures of monasteries and convents, an epidemic of marriages in Germany to which even French reformers travelled who wished to marry – must be read as an integral part of the European querelle des sexes and the same goes for the marriage debates of the Counter-Reformation. Martin Luther’s Von chelichen Leben (The Estate of Married Life – 1522) speaks quite in the manner of a querelle text by turning against the traditional misogamist attitude:

“What we would speak most of is the fact that the estate of marriage has universally fallen into such awful disrepute. There are many pagan books which treat of nothing but the depravity of womankind and the unhappiness of the estate of marriage […]. So they [young men listening to the advice of a Roman official] concluded that woman is a necessary evil, and that no household can be without such an evil. […] For this reason young men should be on their guard when they read pagan books and hear the common complaints about marriage, lest they inhale poison . For the estate of marriage does not sell well with the devil, because it is God’s good will and work. This is why the devil has contrived to have so much shouted and written in the world against the institution of marriage […]. The world says of marriage, ‘Brief is the joy, lasting the bitterness.”2


I’ve long wondered what form male activism might have taken in response to the excesses of traditional European and Anglosphere gynocentrism. From the above description, and from the many anti-marriage texts abounding through old Europe, it’s clear that a historical form of men’s rights advocacy concerned itself with the dangers of entrapment within marriage.


[1]  The European Querelle des femmes, in Medieval Forms of Argument (2002).