John Alan Lee’s concept of Pragma love comes from his 1973 work Colours of Love, where he introduced the idea of six love styles. Pragma, one of the three secondary love styles, combines aspects of Ludus (playful love) and Storge (friendship-based love). It’s defined as practical, rational, and goal-oriented love.
Here’s how Lee described and structured Pragma:
Core Features of Pragma Love:
- Practical Compatibility Over Passion:
- Pragma lovers look for a partner who meets specific, often logical criteria—like shared interests, similar life goals, background, religion, or education.
- The focus isn’t primarily on emotional highs or physical passion but on whether the relationship makes sense and will function long-term.
- Deliberate and Thoughtful:
- This style involves cognitive filtering: people actively think through the qualities they want in a partner and evaluate potential mates accordingly.
- Love grows slowly, often starting from friendship, and deepens based on practical investment rather than overwhelming emotion.
- Long-Term Orientation:
- Pragma lovers often consider factors like financial stability, family approval, career alignment, and future planning.
- Romantic choices are shaped more by life goals and stability than by spontaneity.
- Low on Emotional Drama:
- Pragma avoids the turbulence of styles like Mania. It values emotional steadiness, commitment, and compatibility.
Examples Lee Might Offer:
- A person might think: “I want someone who wants children, shares my values, and has a stable career.”
- Love is not blind in this style—it is intentional and evaluative.
Lee’s Underlying Idea:
Lee saw Pragma as a practical response to the realities of love—in a world of increasing personal autonomy and social complexity, many people need more than romantic attraction. They need relationships that work, and they approach love like a partnership with practical criteria.