David M. Buss’s evolutionary theory about female hypergamy—the idea that women have evolved preferences for mates with higher status, resources, or genetic quality—is based on hypothesis and inferred ancestral behavior, not on unassailable scientific fact.
What it’s based on:
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Evolutionary Psychology Framework:
Buss’s work relies on the principle that current human mating preferences evolved to solve adaptive problems in ancestral environments.
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Hypotheses from Evolutionary Theory:
Buss hypothesizes that, because ancestral women bore higher reproductive costs (pregnancy, lactation), they evolved to prefer mates who could provide resources, protection, and good genes.
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Cross-Cultural Survey Data:
Buss cites cross-cultural surveys (e.g. his 1989 study across 37 cultures) showing women tend to place more importance than men on traits like status, ambition, and financial prospects.
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Inferred Ancestral Pressures:
The theory infers that these preferences were adaptive responses to historical conditions—not direct observations of evolution in action.
What it is not:
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It is not a proven law of biology.
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It does not rest on direct evidence from the ancestral past (e.g., no fossilized brains revealing sexual preferences).
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It is not immune to alternative explanations (e.g. cultural influences, individual variation, or reverse causality).
Scientific Status:
Summary:
Buss’s theory of female hypergamy is a scientifically grounded hypothesis supported by data, but it is not an unassailable fact. It rests on inference, comparative studies, and evolutionary logic, and it remains open to challenge and refinement like any scientific theory.
It is plausible to suggest that David M. Buss’s evolutionary theory of female hypergamy might be—at least in part—a misinterpretation of modern cultural phenomena, such as rising narcissism or changing gender norms, retrofitted into an evolutionary narrative.
Cultural Narcissism; A Better Hypothesis?
Buss’s theory of female hypergamy may be a mistaken interpretation of modern cultural narcissism, a phenomenon displayed cross-culturally by women, which involves self-enhancement and status seeking behaviours.
Why It’s a Plausible Critique:
1. Evolutionary Psychology is Interpretive, Not Definitive
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Buss’s theory relies on hypotheses about ancestral environments, not direct evidence.
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It builds inferences from modern patterns (e.g., mate preferences, jealousy triggers) and assumes those behaviors evolved because they were adaptive in the past.
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This opens the door to cultural biases being projected backward.
2. Modern Narcissism Could Skew Observations
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Traits often associated with narcissism (e.g., entitlement, self-enhancement, inflated mate value) are arguably more pronounced in today’s Western, media-saturated societies.
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If women in multiple modern cultures exhibit similar behavior, Buss may assume a universal evolved basis, when the actual cause could be global cultural convergence (social media, individualism, feminism, economic freedom).
3. Reverse Causality Risk
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Instead of evolved hypergamy causing current behavior, it’s possible that modern environments (education, wealth, independence, online dating) are shaping behavior that mimics hypergamous strategies—but aren’t rooted in ancient adaptations.
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Buss may be mistaking consequence for cause.
4. Cross-Cultural Similarities Might Be Misleading
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Buss often cites cross-cultural data (e.g., women preferring higher-status partners) as evidence of biological evolution.
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But if modern globalization and media homogenize norms, then apparent universality may not mean ancestral origin.
Some social commentators and dating coaches cite Buss to explain the growing selectiveness of women in relationships, attributing it to hypergamy—the notion that women are naturally drawn to higher-status partners. Though this idea has roots in evolutionary theory, cultural narcissism may offer a more convincing explanation.
In affluent, individualistic societies, narcissistic traits have surged—particularly among women raised in a culture that glorifies self-worth, esteem, and chivalric deference. This acquired status leads to what psychologists call Acquired Situational Narcissism, a form of narcissism born not from personality disorder, but from social reinforcement of perceived importance. Much of what’s labeled “hypergamy” today may in fact be status-seeking motivated by this cultural narcissism, not a biologically adaptive mate strategy.
Research supports this view. Narcissists tend to choose romantic partners who boost their status—those who are attractive, wealthy, or high in social capital—not because of emotional closeness but to reflect glory and inflate self-esteem. They prefer “trophy partners,” idealized mates who mirror their inflated self-image. These patterns of self-enhancing relationship selection are well-documented and correlate strongly with narcissistic motivations rather than with functional reproductive strategy.
“Narcissists are more likely to choose relationships that elevate their status over relationships that cultivate affiliation… They often demonstrate an increased preference for high-status friends and trophy partners, perhaps because they can bask in the reflected glory of these people.”
— Grapsas et al., 2020
“Narcissists seek romantic partners who offer self-enhancement value either as sources of fawning admiration, or as human trophies (e.g., by possessing impressive wealth or exceptional physical beauty).”
— Wallace, 2011
“Narcissists’ preference for romantic partners reflects a strategy for interpersonal self-esteem regulation… These partners were more likely to be seen as a source of self-esteem to the extent that they provided the narcissist with a sense of popularity and importance.”
— Campbell, 1999
“Narcissists particularly look for in a partner… physical attractiveness and agentic traits (e.g., status and success)… Indeed, narcissists report that part of the reason they are drawn to attractive and successful partners is that these people are similar to them.”
— Campbell, Brunell & Finkel, 2006
True evolutionary hypergamy does not require an individual to overrate their own attractiveness. Narcissism does. Thus, a useful test: if a woman dramatically overestimates her own desirability while seeking high-status men, this signals narcissism—not evolution. Mistaking the two leads to the normalization and even glorification of maladaptive traits under the guise of “natural female behavior.”
Moreover, modern narcissistic self-enhancement is not adaptive—it undermines relationship quality, social cohesion, and even fertility rates. Unlike adaptive mate strategies, it serves the ego, not survival.
By distinguishing narcissistic self-enhancement from evolutionary hypergamy, we avoid excusing destructive behavior as biologically inevitable. What we see today is not always nature—it’s culture, and it’s increasingly narcissistic.
References:
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Grapsas, S., Brummelman, E., Back, M. D., & Denissen, J. J. (2020). The “why” and “how” of narcissism: A process model of narcissistic status pursuit. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 15(1), 150-172.
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Wallace, H. M. (2011). Narcissistic self-enhancement. In: Campbell, W. K., & Miller, J. D. (Eds.) The Handbook of Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Theoretical Approaches, Empirical Findings, and Treatments, 309-318.
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Campbell, W. K. (1999). Narcissism and romantic attraction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77(6), 1254–1270.
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Campbell, W. K., Brunell, A. B., & Finkel, E. J. (2006). Narcissism, Interpersonal Self-Regulation, and Romantic Relationships: An Agency Model Approach. In: Vohs, K. D., & Finkel, E. J. (Eds.), Self and Relationships: Connecting Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Processes, 57–83.
Above image detail: Left half shows a tribal or historical woman looking with admiration at a strong, competent man (symbolizing adaptive hypergamy). The right half shows a modern woman taking selfies next to a luxury car, barely noticing the man she’s with. Symbolism: Juxtaposes genuine evolutionary mate choice with modern narcissistic self-display.
Analysis assisted by Chat GPT.
