The following is an attractiveness rating scale for men wanting to assess women for potential LTR, based on two factors of 1. sexual attractiveness and 2. pairbonding attractiveness, instead of the popular single rating factor of sexual attractiveness. The purpose is to cultivate an awareness of LTR qualities instead of limiting it to short-term sexual criteria.
Preamble
Freud/psychoanalysis: “What decides the purpose of life is simply the programme of the pleasure principle.” (sexual excitement)
Object relations psychology: “The primary motivational factors in one’s life are based on qualities that enhance human relationships, rather than sexual or aggressive triggers.” (pairbonding)
The above two quotes imply different kinds of female attractiveness for men, indicating a need for two separate rating scales: 1. sexual attractiveness, and 2. pairbonding attractiveness. Sexual attractiveness is based purely on sexual provocation & attraction: good looks, body shape, boobs, hips, hair, cleavage, thighs & bedroom eyes, etc. Pairbonding attractiveness implies the girl-next-door stereotype, more attractive for company, modesty, reliability, material contribution to shared life, pair bonding and, if desired, family.
Two-Factor Attractiveness Scale
A two-factor attractiveness scale would work like this:
Random examples:
Example 1
5/10 for sexual attractiveness
1/10 for pairbonding attractiveness.
Score: +5|+1 = total score +6
Example 2
5/10 for sexual attractiveness
3/10 for pairbonding attractiveness.
Score: +5|+3 = total score +8
Example 3
5/10 for sexual attractiveness
7/10 for pairbonding attractiveness
Score: +5|+7 = total score +12
Example 5
9/10 Sexual attractiveness
-10/10 Pairbonding attractiveness
Score: +9|-10 = total score -2
Example 4
5/10 for sexual attractiveness
-8/10 for pairbonding attractiveness
Score: +5|-8 = total score -3
*[Highest possible score is +20… Lowest possible score is -10].
Comment
The two attractiveness scales are based on two different human motivations mentioned above, as briefly outlined by Evolutionary Psychology scholar Steve Stewart-Williams who writes, quote:
“Human males have a number of well-documented, species-typical mate preferences. These include preferences for physical traits such as a low waist-to-hip ratio, facial and bodily symmetry, neoteny, and youthfulness. They also include preferences for psychological traits such as intelligence, emotional stability, and sexual fidelity.”1
Notice in his comment that the first group of physical traits match sexual attractiveness, and the latter traits match pairbonding attractiveness. Sexual attractiveness is well understood, however pairbonding attractiveness requires a little more explanation: it’s the ability of a woman to cultivate a successful, long term bond with a man, which includes traits such as emotional stability, sexual fidelity, low body count (signifying commitment to pairbonding), low narcissism, modesty, kindness, willingness to make material contributions, and an ability to positively work through relationship issues.
The list of traits and attributes belonging to sexual and pairbonding attractiveness respectively could be expanded into a long list, and I do hope that someone bothers to take up that task and have some fun with it.
Lastly, although described in terms of rating women’s attractiveness, the scale can also be applied to rate male attractiveness/value (women are already ahead of the game in this sense).
November 15, 2023
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